A lot of narratives about trans* people (and I do say 'about trans* people' rather than 'trans* narratives' since so few of them are actually written by us without coercion) rely on the idea that we get 'a brand new body' with surgery.
Das bullshit, tbh. (And I don't want to step on the toes of trans* people who do believe that, I'm speaking purely from my own perspective.)
Because really, every single cell in the new permutation of my body will be a cell that was there before. All of the skin, the nerves, the everything, I already have them all, they are just in a different format. Pretty much nothing gets "cut off," we're not just "carving a gash" (gag) like some anti-trans* narratives say.
I've also been thinking more and more about this body, and what about it causes me stress, and what parts make me happy. And I've reached a very, very important conclusion:
The parts of my body that are going to be changed by this surgery are not the parts that bother me the most. In fact, I rather enjoy the parts of my body that are going to be changed by this surgery.
This does not mean that I don't want to have surgery! Because I do. I'm really excited to explore and understand the new permutation of my body. But I'm not leaving behind some awful, tragic, disgraceful genitalia for some lush pink shiny new bits. I'm leaving behind one enjoyable permutation for another equally-or-probably-more enjoyable permutation. In my mind at least, these two different stages of my body are definitely *different*, but neither of them are shameful.
And that's pretty cool.
No comments:
Post a Comment